Toujours Hotaru
by Saturn Knight
Summary: Bad things happen to good people, can a new hero set things right? NOTE THERE ARE 6 CHAPTERS!
1. Beautiful and Deadly

This is my first Sailor Moon fic. Not sure exactly how good it is, but I  
figured I might as well submit it for being read. I took a few liberties  
with the characters, not very many though, IE giving the already sickly  
Hotaru asthma. Time frame is of normal, Hotaru being 12-13. You can email me  
at with comments/questions. 

"Toujours"  
By Saturn Knight

Forcing herself along the icy street, near midnight, fighting the cold,  
which gnawed at her with relentless force, Hotaru pulls the purple sweater  
around her tighter; though it did nothing to keep the bitter caress of the  
wind from violating her body. In the back of her mind, playing like a broken  
record, the question 'Why did I agree to come to America?' made her think  
of her warm, safe bed back home. 'Home…' Hotaru said to herself, just as the  
first snow began to fall, fluttering gently from the sky and landing on her  
shoulder. Turning to look at it, her body shaking violently from the cold,  
she frowned, wondering where she was, where were the others, and why did bad  
things always happen to her?  
"Because you're the Soldier of Death…that's why," she mumbled to herself,  
turning her gaze to the sky as the snow picked up, now falling regularly. A  
shuddering breath trailed into the sky, mingling with the frigid air before  
finally succumbing to the relentless chill of the night. "God, it's  
beautiful…" The faint light seeping through the clouds backlit the scene to  
perfection, something no artist could ever replicate. Tearing her gaze from  
the sky, back down to the snow covered ground, Hotaru felt fear rising in  
the back of her throat…she had been walking for the good part of an hour,  
and had come across nothing more than bare trees, rocks, and now snow.  
"I wanna go home…" she said to herself, the simple act of talking causing  
another plume of vapor to rise from her lips. Though her hands were numb,  
the muscles ached under her skin with every movement. She was very glad now  
that had she listened to Haruka's advice, on wearing her snow boots when she  
went out into the cold, otherwise, she would have lost the ability, and the  
will, to walk long before. Then she sneezed… a single, violent sneeze. The  
sudden loss of breath began a coughing fit that drove her to the ground, the  
snow crunching under her weight as she went down to her knees … Reaching  
into her pocket for her inhaler, she shakily threw the top off it and took a  
breath as best as she could and tried to hold it. Forcing herself not to  
cough as the world spun, she exhaled quickly and repeated, her body giving  
violent spasms from her refusal to cough.  
Unable to hold her fit any longer, she surrendered to her body and began  
coughing violently, trying to stand only caused the world to black out for a  
moment. Staggering, fighting with all the strength she could muster, but she  
was at war with something she could never beat; no matter how hard she  
tried, no matter how strong her will. She was fighting herself. As her body  
hit the ground, her eyes looked up to the sky as the snow continued to fall,  
making her already-numb face sting anew with the ice that was now settling  
in. As her body gave into shock, she felt the world slowly start to slip  
away from her conscious mind. Her last coherent thought as she looked to the  
sky, and it's dangerous beauty, was "It's hard to believe something so  
beautiful could be so deadly…" then all was darkness.

"I'm worried about Hotaru," Chibi Usa said to Usagi, as they sat in their  
hotel room in Maine. "She should have been back a long time ago." Chibi sat  
with her back against the bed, with Usagi behind her, brushing out her pink  
hair. "Do you think she's ok?" She twisted her body to look at Usagi, who  
was too busy watching the American soap opera on TV to pay much attention.  
"USAGI!"  
"What! Huh?" Usagi jumped, literally, as Chibi yelled, just about falling  
off the bed and onto the floor. "What now?" she blushed light red,  
embarrassed that she wasn't paying attention. Her own hair was let  
completely down, not in the usual dual ponytails. "I'm sorry… What did you  
say Chibi?"  
"UGH, you never listen!" Chibi took the remote and promptly switched off  
the TV, tossing the remote under the bed where she believed Usagi couldn't  
get it. Turning her eyes to Usagi, who was already on all fours, halfway  
under the bed attempting to fish the remote out, she shouted as loudly as  
she could, "USAGI!" This caused Usagi to jump again, hitting her head on  
the under board of the bed, with a yelp and a wince, she quickly worm her  
way out, with the remote of course.  
"OW! What, Chibi Usa? WHAT?" Usagi's eyes were watering from the sting of  
the pain. "What is so important?" Reaching out her right hand to gingerly  
touch the fresh bump, her left hand extended with the remote to switch the  
TV back on, but met with a slap from Chibi's hand, knocking the remote away.  
"It's HOTARU! She's late! She said she'd be back 2 hours ago." Chibi  
glanced at the clock over Usagi's shoulder, "I'm worried about her…she  
doesn't know this place, WE don't even know this place…it's cold outside,  
and snowing, and it's dark, and it's lonely, an--"  
"…And you worry too much…" Usagi rolled her eyes and glanced longingly at  
the remote.  
"SOMEBODY around here has gotta worry. The only thing you worry about is  
how you look to Mamou Chan, and your shows on the TV!" Chibi stood, being  
short enough to look the sitting Usagi in the eye, "Hotaru is late…she's  
normally on time, unlike some other senshi I could name… Aren't you  
worried?" This struck a chord with Usagi, and she was about to protest, but  
as she moved to grab the remote from the floor, her eyes wandered to the  
window. There was roughly a foot of snow blanketing the ground, and the  
dark, thick clouds had suffocated the faint light that the moon provided.  
"Yeah, she's ok…" Usagi said, more in an effort to convince herself, rather  
than Chibi Usa, who was now at the windowsill, on her tip-toes peeking out  
from the 10th floor room. "Just stay off the phone in case she has to call  
and ask for our help." Almost as if on cue the phone rang, and both girls  
looked at each other. Before the end of the second ring, Chibi had vaulted  
over the bed and tore the phone receiver off the hook and, placed it to her  
ear. Usagi wasn't too far behind her, trying to maintain a bit of dignity,  
rather than throwing herself on the bed she had recently been crawling  
under.  
"Hotaru?" Chibi said, hopefully, but was greeted with the voice of a man on  
the other end.  
"Uh…no, this is Lieutenant Grey of the Maine PD. We found a girl out in a  
run down part of Oak Street, off the highway. She was unconscious, and  
covered in snow. She had a card key to this hotel, and this room. Purple  
hair, about five fe--"  
"HOTARU!" Chibi shrieked, dropping the phone on the floor, her face going  
pale as she heard. Usagi quickly picked up the phone, placing it to her ear.  
"Hotaru is that you?" Usagi said into the phone, not sure what she was  
supposed to hear, but thought it would be bad news. She sighed, gazing to  
Chibi was sitting on the floor with her knees to her chest crying like the  
world was going to end.  
"No….This is Lieutenant Grey, of the Maine PD. A patrol had located a girl  
lying in the snow near the highway…we believe it's a friend of yours, since  
she had the key to this room in her pocket." The voice paused a moment,  
"She's currently at Memorial Hospital, south of Main Street."  
"Oh Hotaru…." Usagi reached down and placed her hand on Chibi's shoulder.  
"How do we get there from the hotel? The hotels on…" Usagi grabbed the pad  
off the desk near the phone, with the little pencil they provide, "It's on  
Greenway parkway."

Arriving at the hospital, via the car Usagi had rented for their vacation,  
miraculously in one piece, in spite of the horrid driving conditions, the  
two entered the warm hospital and headed directly for the information desk.  
The sterile, cold feeling of the hospital sent chills down Chibi Usa's spine  
as she looked over the sparkling white tile, and stoic white walls of the  
entry way. The counter was vacant at the time they arrived, and Chibi Usa  
began an incessant attack on the bell, before having her hand removed by  
Usagi, who sternly shook her head. Removing her pink earmuffs, and staring  
out a nearby window, Chibi's heart sank. It was still snowing badly, and  
only grew more intense with every passing second.  
Turning back to the counter, Chibi was about to hit the bell again, when a  
woman emerged from the back area. Her white nurse's uniform was wrinkled,  
and fit her a bit too tightly, and the blue knit sweater she wore was  
stretched to its limit. "Yeah?" the red haired nurse asked. Usagi noted  
immediately that the woman smelled sickeningly of cigarette smoke.  
"Hi, we're looking for the girl who was found…" Usagi swallowed hard at  
this. She was used to visiting Hotaru in hospitals, but never for something  
like this. "She was found by the highwa--" The nurse cut her off with a  
sigh, rolling her eyes.  
"Room 415…fourth floor." The nurse then turned around and started back to  
the back, but paused. Reaching to the counter and taking the bell off the  
top, and placing it in her pocket, the woman gave Chibi Usa a steely glare.  
"My, isn't she the friendly one?" Chibi asked, taking Usagi's hand and  
pulling her towards the two massive steel doors of the elevator. Pushing the  
button a few times, Chibi waited impatiently for the lift to arrive. Her  
mind was cluttered with thoughts, assuming the worst…'I can't live without  
my best friend,' Chibi thought, trembling and blinking back the tears that  
made their way to eyes. 'If anything happens to Hotaru, I don't know what  
I'll do…I...I want to see her…I want to see her now!' With a red-eyed glare  
at the button, Chibi demanded, "What is TAKING this thing so long!"  
"I don't know…I guess they're busy or something?" Usagi too, was wondering  
exactly what was keeping the lift from taking them to the fourth floor. She  
looked to her left and viewed the staircase, but dismissed it; there was a  
fire alarm on the door. Sighing, she pushed the button again…the elevator  
sounded in the silence of the lobby and opened it's metal jaws.

Entering the room was one of the hardest things Chibi had ever had to do in  
her life. She and Usagi crept into the eerily quiet room, only to see their  
friend laying there, hooked up to machines that kept her alive. Chibi gasped  
and ran to her best friend, shakily reaching out and taking Hotaru's hand as  
carefully as she could, afraid she was going to hurt the girl by her touch.  
"Oh Hotaru…" Chibi whispered, as she felt Usagi's hand on her shoulder  
giving it a gentle squeeze. The purple haired girl made no response to the  
touch. Her eyes were closed, a tube in her mouth to keep her breathing, with  
an IV in the back of her hand. Chibi Usa slowly reached out to move some of  
the matted purple hair from over Hotaru's eyes, in a vain, almost sadistic  
hope that the she would see violet orbs flicker to life.  
"It'll be ok," Usagi said reassuringly, not only for Chibi's benefit, but  
her own as well. It pained her to see Hotaru in this condition, as so often  
seemed the case. Another gentle squeeze of Chibi's shoulder, before the door  
opened and the doctor stepped into the room. He was dressed in green  
S.C.R.U.B.s, and had a stethoscope hanging around the collar of his white  
coat.  
"You must be the ones the officer called," the doctor said, picking up the  
chart from the door and giving it a glance over as he rubbed his slightly  
stubbled chin. "I guess we start off with the basic's, what's her name? We  
have Jane Do-" Chibi cut him off, looking up at the man who was at least  
twice her size.  
"Is she going to be ok?" her red eyes brimming with tears as she asks him  
the question, swallowing hard and waiting for the worst news. A faint hope  
whispered reassurance, but was swiftly drowned by the cackling of reality…  
Usagi was soon behind her, but cast a glance over her shoulder to Hotaru,  
who was lying as still as death.  
"We don't know, we don't have her medical history, insurance information,  
or any--" This time Usagi cut him off, stating the facts quickly.  
"Her name is Hotaru Tomoe… H-o-t-a-r-u T-o-m-o-e." Usagi paused as the  
doctor scribbled down the name then continued, "Look under Haruka Tenou for  
the insurance information, H-a-r-u-k-a T-e-n-o-u." She was now glad that  
Michi had insisted that they had health insurance for their trip; even if it  
was an expensive, and only temporary policy, it sure did come in handy right  
now.  
"Alright. I'll have my nurse check it out…" he turned to head away, but  
Chibi grabbed his shirt to keep him from going anywhere, and pushed the  
nurse's call buzzer a few times… not releasing her grip, she looked up at  
him, shaking her head.  
"Something else I can do for you?" the doctor asked, looking down at the  
short pink-haired girl.  
"What's wrong with Hotaru?" A single tear ran down Chibi Usa's face as she  
all the horrid possibilities floated through her head.  
"First off she's got hypothermia, secondly she was barely breathing when  
they brought her in. She's lucky she had her inhaler in her hand or she  
probably would have died." The doctor's cold tone caused Chibi to sob a  
single time. This was her FRIEND he was talking about, not just a patient!  
The doctor sighed and looked toward the door, grateful that one of the  
nurses came to see why the buzzer was being rung. Stepping over to her, he  
handed her the paper with the names on it and whispered something, then  
looked back the two standing by the bed, and nodded curtly to the nurse.  
"Visiting hours are over. They have been for about 4 hours or so, but  
seeing as how this is an emergency, you can stay. Plus, all the roads are  
snowed in… unless you're walking, you're not going to be able to get home.  
I've arranged for another bed to be brought in. I'm afraid we can only spare  
up to two beds per room, and your friend has one…" He stopped turned to the  
door, "I'll be back as soon as I get the information. She'll be fine until  
then." And with that, he headed out to gather the records of the girl.  
"She'll be fine, Chibi…I promise," Usagi said, glancing at her watch. It  
was almost 1 in the morning now. "I'm going to get some hot chocolate for  
us, down at the cafeteria. You can stay here if you want." Usagi said,  
moving to the door as Chibi Usa headed directly for Hotaru's bed and took  
her hand again, letting that be Usagi's answer. "I'll be right back, ok?"  
Usagi watched the two for a moment, feeling a sharp stab of pain as she  
realized this really could be it. Shaking it off, she turned on her heal and  
walked out of the room.  
Staring at her friend, Chibi Usa reached out again, running the back of her  
fingers gently down Hotaru's cheek, ignoring the tears that fell from her  
eyes. "The soldier of death…" Chibi whispered softly, feeling her heart  
breaking as she saw Hotaru in such a horrid condition. "The one who can  
destroy the world…" the pink haired girl murmured as she leaned down and  
placed a kiss on Hotaru's cheek, saying to herself. "It's hard to believe  
that someone so beautiful could be so deadly…"

(NOTE THERE ARE A TOTAL OF SIX CHAPTERS! ON THE TOP RIGHT HAND IS A PULLDOWN MENU, USE IT TO GO TO THE NEXT CHAPTER!)


	2. Revelation

The hiss of metal scraping against metal roused Hotaru from her unconscious state.   
Violet orbs slowly opening to view a world that swirled around her, leading her head to   
begin pounding, though now all she heard was her own breathing. Groaning lightly, she tried   
to push herself up off what felt like the ground, but as she placed her palms to the floor, it   
was smooth, too much so to be anything natural, and thought it better to try to see where she   
was before risking another swoon. Unable to focus her eyes in the dim surroundings, she   
squinted in a vain attempt to see with any kind of clarity.  
The room had no visible walls, or ceiling, simply blackness lit with sparsely placed   
torches, their shadows slithering menacingly across the ground. Out of the corner of her eye,   
she saw a flash as the light from the torches reflected something. Her head turning in that   
direction, her eyes rested on two figures, vaguely human shaped, one living midnight, the   
other as crimson as blood. Not a word spoken between them as they stared each other down,   
with what appeared to be weapons held at the ready, the suspense was almost tangible. The   
red figure struck first, and once more they danced before her, the sharp, pronounced cry of   
metal meeting in a tango of death, which Hotaru wanted no part of.  
The figures moved at a blinding speed, ducking, jumping, stabbing, their motion left   
streaks of color behind them as they battled harder than she has ever seen anyone, anything   
fight before. Whoever they were, whatever they were, they seemed oblivious to her presence.   
She thanked the gods for that and tried to hold as still, and as silent as possible, to avoid any   
attention to herself, while she continued to watch on. There was simply nothing else she   
could do.  
The figure in red was obviously the aggressor; it gave the black shape no rest as it   
hacked at it mercilessly with what appeared to be a pole arm of some kind. Its relentless   
attacks were coupled with growls and grunts as the shots were either blocked or dodged   
completely. As the sparks from the clashing weapons flew, the black outline continued to be   
driven back, towards Hotaru's position on the floor. Was it defending her? Who was it?! She   
had to get out of there…  
Her heart began to race, as she looked around herself frantically for somewhere to   
hide, somewhere to get herself out of the open but saw nothing but blurry darkness. Closing   
her eyes to prevent the room from spinning, she focused herself, trying to will herself into   
lucid sight. Opening her eyes once more, she looked upon the room again, and by some   
miracle, her attempt worked. Vision slowly starting to clear, she could see a few details   
about each of the figures fighting before her. The black figure was obviously human, or   
humanoid and was dressed in dark clothing and what appeared to be a ninja's mask covering   
his face. He wielded a black bladed sword, which he handled as if it were an extension of his   
body, obviously having been doing it for quiet some time.  
Hotaru gasped as she looked upon the red figure. It was the same size as a human,   
but its face was distorted into a sick mockery of a person. The mouth was full of razor sharp   
fangs, dripping saliva onto the floor as it grunted and roared, angry that the man wasn't   
going down as easy as it hoped. It's eyes were two dried out sockets, a faint red glow seen   
from them in place of pupils, and the thing had no nose; it's entire body was dried, red flesh.  
Once more placing her hands to the ground, she pushed with all the strength she could   
muster, and barely managed to gain any kind of clearance from the floor before her hands   
gave out and she fell back to the ground with a loud thud. Both figures turned to her, neither   
of them speaking. The creature took advantage of this and thrust his pole arm at the man   
before he could have a chance to ready a defense, slamming him directly in the chest with the   
weapon. A sickening crunch was heard as the metal sunk into the man's rib cage, blood   
starting to seep over the silver blade and splattered onto floor. The man turned to look at the   
creature, his eyes narrowed as he dropped to a knee, the weapon embedded firmly in his   
body. Thick, red blood splattered from his wound onto the floor before he too slumped down   
motionless.  
"It lives!" the thing screeched, glaring directly at Hotaru. It's 'voice' was   
indescribable, the sound of a million souls screaming out in sheer agony at once. It chilled   
her to the bone, causing her to freeze in place; a tiny whimper her only viable action. She   
knew she had no defense. She was too woozy and disoriented to fight it hand to hand, it was   
just too fast for her in any state. It approached her, leaving the crumpled figure on the   
ground about 30 yards, or so, away.  
Picking up the man's sword, the creature did what could only be described as a grin,   
it's jagged, yellowed teeth bared further as it's mouth opened. "Now YOU die, girl." The   
creature laughed as it held the sword high in triumph, the black blade glimmered in the light   
of the torches. It hissed to Hotaru and began to slice the blade through the air, but was   
disrupted by the sound of the man behind them once more standing off the ground.  
"No…" the black clad man's voice sounded, "You know you can't kill her as long   
as I still breathe…" and he winced and grunted as he pulled the pole arm from his chest,   
leaving blood to spurt down the open wound. Hotaru's eyes went wide as she saw the   
weapon he was holding: The silence glaive.  
"WHY DON'T YOU DIE!!?" the monster glared at the youth, making an   
indistinguishable clicking noise before screaming at the top of its voice as it charged at the   
man, who was in no shape to fight it any longer. The man closed his eyes and held the glaive   
parallel to the floor. The light suddenly increased dramatically, as the torches flared, the   
sudden burst of light blinded the creature, causing it to scream in rage and fall to the floor,   
covering its face with it's clawed hands. Hotaru could now understand why the red beast   
didn't let the man have any kind of rest at all: he knew it's weak point. All the colors of the   
prism swirled from the flames into the glaive in his hands, the blood sizzling on the blade of   
the weapon from the intense energy that caused the metal to glow. The youth's eyes opened   
then, completely white with the energy feeding from the power of the torches, the light, and   
turned to the creature.  
"DEATH EVERLASTING…" The man screamed to the sky… Death everlasting?   
Is that like Death reborn?! Hotaru's head quickly snapped from the creature to the one who   
held her weapon. "REVELATION!"  
The blade flashed a single time in response to his call, and as he slashed the weapon   
vertically through the air, a crescent shaped sickle of energy screamed across the sky to the   
vulnerable creature on the floor. As it struck the writhing figure, what sounded like   
electricity began to crackle, causing the monster to scream only once before being cut off   
into silence. Its body quickly turned into nothing more than a pile of ash on the floor, a   
massive scorch mark surrounding its former position.  
"W—who are you?" Hotaru managed to ask, causing the youth to turn to glance at   
her, dropping back to a knee, and as the light from the glaive began to fade, she caught a   
glimpse of black colored irises.  
"You'll see in time…" he feel back into a sitting position raising his hand to the sky,   
his palm beginning to glow gently white. "Just go back to sleep, Hotaru…You need your   
rest." then all went black once more.  
  
Red, watery eyes glanced at Hotaru's motionless body, which lay on the hospital bed   
in the silence of the night. Usagi hadn't returned from her run to the cafeteria yet, leaving   
Chibi Usa with ample time to take in every feature of the sleeping angel. Her hand caressed   
Hotaru's slender digits her own smooth palm,  
"You'll be okay, right Hotaru?" Chibi turned her eyes to Hotaru's expecting her to   
open them and reassure her that everything was just fine…. The only sound that was heard   
was the incessant beeping of the heart monitor and the hissing of the ventilator as it forced   
air into and out of her lungs.  
A click sounded behind Chibi, causing her to turn and look at the door, taking her   
eyes off Hotaru for a moment. In came Usagi, carefully holding two foam cups in her hands,   
and a bag in her mouth, carefully opening the door with her back. Chibi immediately went to   
Usagi and took a cup from her, not because she wanted to help, but she knew that Usagi   
can't be trusted to carry things… She has a tendency to fall and spill them.  
"Thanks," Usagi said, after removing the bag from her hand and moving to one of   
the three wooden chairs in the room that were stationed by the window. "Careful, it's really   
hot." She had already burned her tongue, and didn't want Chibi to do the same.  
"Ok…" was Chibi's response, as she set the drink down on the window sill, not   
really interested in it right now, and immediately turned her eyes back to Hotaru. "You like   
chocolate don't you? I know you don't like milk…" Usagi sighed, looking to the pink haired   
child speaking to the incapacitated girl on the bed. Silence followed for a moment, the   
sounds of the machines were the only things that broke the thick silence until Chibi spoke   
again, "Do you think she can hear me?"  
"I dunno…I think so…." She knew that it was doubtful, since she wasn't conscious   
and moving, that the receptors in her brain didn't register the words. "You should ask the   
doctor, he would know for sure." Chibi only sighed and picked up her chocolate and looked   
at it through the small drinking hole in the lid. "It's a bit on the sweeter side," Usagi relayed   
to Chibi, hoping that would coax her into drinking it.  
"She can hear every word you say," the doctor said as he entered the room via the   
door Usagi forgot to close, a few of the staff following suit. "She's not asleep, exactly…she's   
in a state of coma, her brain is active, but her body isn't…she doesn't know she can't move,   
she doesn't know she can't see, but she can hear you since sound is involuntarily heard."   
The doctor sat down on the chair opposite the girls, and crossed his legs, before opening the   
chart. The staff, on the other hand began to huddle around Hotaru, Chibi saw that most of   
them had needles.  
"It looks like your friend has spent a good few days in hospitals before," he pushed   
his glasses back and continued, "We have to run a few tests on her skin for feeling, and her   
lungs, her brain…it'll be done right now since this is still considered and emergency." Chibi   
winced lightly as they stuck Hotaru in her arm to take some blood samples, "We'll have to   
take her for another CT scan in the morning…it might take a while to get all the data, and   
you two should get some rest."  
"Another CT scan…and what is a CT scan?" Usagi looked to the doctor, rather than   
the group around Hotaru, not wanting to watch them poke and prod around on her.  
"A CT scan is a type of tissue scan…a CAT scan, you've probably heard of that."   
He looked at the chart again, then back to Usagi, "And she had one when she came in, and it   
showed no abnormalities." Usagi let out a breath that she felt like she had been holding since   
she heard that Hotaru was here. "Another one in the morning will confirm the results, as well   
as show any damage that might have occurred after the scan. She's not out of the woods yet,   
not by far, but if the scan is good she should recover just fine." 


	3. Night Terror

The night wasn't easy for the girls. Both of them squeezed on the tiny hospital   
bed in the darkness of Hotaru's room; the rhythmic hissing of the respirator paired with   
the beat of the heart monitor made for a symphony of restlessness.  
"UGH, that beeping is driving me crazy!" Usagi said in the darkness, "I can't   
sleep with it! I want to SLEEEEP!" She glared at the offending device, but was   
reprimanded by an angry Chibi.  
"If that thing stops beeping, you'll get a few hours of sleep…. but Hotaru will   
never wake up…. now stop complaining and block it out." The tiny girl curled onto her   
side and tried to do the same, but was finding it very difficult. She sighed again,   
wondering what Hotaru is thinking, what she's seeing, what she's hearing, what she's   
feeling. Eyes glancing to the window, to the sky that was slowly losing it's inky   
blankness in favor of a mild purple as the sun was creeping up over the horizon, she   
stared at the slowly brightening sky for a time, before her eyes closed she didn't reopen   
them.  
Chibi's sleep was tormented, torturous, and troubled. She had visions of a   
happy, almost mocking future of herself, around Usagi's age. Seeing herself at her sweet   
sixteen party surrounded by the other Senshi and her friends, as she was opening the   
presents from a large stack on a nearby table, and the others were standing around her,   
two were sitting on the sofa next to her: Hotaru to her right, and Usagi to her left. She   
was flanked by Haruka and Michi who stood behind the sofa, Michi against Haruka's   
chest, cradled in her arms, both of them smiling brightly.  
The inners, too, were there. Ami, as always, was telling them to be sensible   
about what they're eating, her voice was as clear as always, "Minako! You shouldn't be   
eating so much cake!" Her lips pursed slightly as she looked at the senshi of love with a   
huge piece of chocolate cake in her hands, half of it in her mouth.  
"Mmh! Mm-mm mmh!" Mina mumbled over the massive piece of cake in her   
mouth, narrowing her eyes at Ami, but with everyone laughing at her, she soon blushed.  
"Why not just rub it on your thighs, Minako?" Makoto chimed from the   
armchair where she sat with a large glass of cherry soda. "That's where it's headed   
anyhow," the brown haired girl quipped to her friend before taking another drink from   
her cup.  
Chibi glanced over a single, black velvet box sitting on the table near her.  
Blinking gently, she reached her hand out and picked it up, studying it carefully before   
spotting a tag on the bottom, "To my best friend. Love always, Hotaru." She grinned   
widely before opening the box, and gasping at the contents.  
The other senshi all stared at her with piqued curiosity at what was in the box,   
including the outers, save Hotaru, who looked away with a smile. Reflecting the light   
back on Chibi's face was a small, silver locket in the shape of a heart, her name engraved   
across the surface in calligraphy. "Oh my…" was her only reaction at first, before her   
hand reached up and opened the locket. On one side of the locket was a picture of Hotaru,   
and on the other was a picture of Chibi. "Hotaru it's beautiful…thank you." She stood up   
and moved to her, "Put it on me, please?" Hotaru nodded quickly and reached her hands   
up to take it; she could feel the other senshi's eyes on her as she placed her arms around   
Chibi's neck. Chibi felt the warm, smooth touch of Hotaru's fingertips as she fumbled   
gently with the clasp, but as the clasp closed the sensation changed.  
  
Trying to pull back to show the locket off, she caught some resistance, not   
physically restraining Chibi, but rather like something was hung around her neck heavier   
than it should be, as if Hotaru's limp hands were holding onto her.  
"You ok, Hotaru?" Chibi asked, wondering if her friend had a fainting spell or   
something, but Chibi received no answer. Reaching up to pull Hotaru's hands away, to   
help her to a bed, Chibi stated aloud, "Someone help me here, I think Hotaru fainted…"   
but, again, silence was her answer.  
Fingers curling around Hotaru's wrists, Chibi jumped at the sensation. They   
weren't as smooth and soft as they were before… they were dry and brittle, and as she   
pulled back, the hands cracked and slumped lifelessly to the side of the couch. The thick,   
tangible silence was shattered with Chibi's scream her eyes fell on Hotaru…or rather,   
what Hotaru had become laying lifelessly on the couch.  
What once had been a beautiful, lively young woman, remained nothing more   
than a set of grayed, decaying bones dressed in the costume of the Saturn senshi.   
Hollowed, dark sockets that stared blankly at Chibi's terrified form, the jaw still attached   
to her face causing the skull to grin knowingly at the pink haired woman who stood   
petrified in the center of the room. "What's the matter Chibi?" the former Hotaru said,   
her voice floating eerily on the chill air, sounding pained and distant. The head turned   
slowly, stomach-churning crack sounded before her eye sockets began glowing with a   
faint purple light.  
Turning quickly to face the rest of the senshi, she was greeted only with a   
similar horror everywhere she looked. Each of the senshi in various states of decay and   
death, rotted flesh hung from dried bones in all directions. "What's wrong, Chibi-Usa?"   
Michi's voice too oozed over the still air, "Our daughter isn't good enough to be your   
friend any more? Don't you know she saved all her money to buy you that locket? And   
this is all you can do to repay her?!" Michi's sockets flared green a moment, then picked   
up in intensity.  
"N- no…" Chibi managed to choke out, her voice shaking, until it climbed in   
urgency, "but…. what's going on here?!" she shrieked at the top of her lungs, but only   
got a cruel chuckle from the living corpses that started to close in around her. Their bony   
fingers began to grasp for her body, causing her to writhe and struggle, but this only   
leading her to slam into another…they had her trapped. Tears began to stream down her   
face as she tried desperately to fight her way out of the circle, only to be thrown harshly   
back in by inhuman strength.  
"Aw…look at the little ingrate cry," Usagi said as she picked up the knife that   
was used to cut the cake, her grotesquely misshapen hands, deformed by decay, gripping   
the handle tightly. Holding the weapon high, Usagi grinned; metal blade reflected the   
light menacingly over the frosting covering the steel. "We'll give you a reason to cry!"   
the hiss of the blade carving through the air sliced the silence, caused Chibi's eyes to   
widen and cry out in vain.  
The sound of the point slamming into her chest woke her with a start, causing   
her to fall off the bed and onto the cold, hard tile landing with a pronounced yelp that   
woke Usagi. Chibi's eyes darted around for any sign of something to prove her existence   
in this reality, where the senshi were alive and spotted Usagi yawning and staring down   
at her, "You ok?"  
"Yes!" Chibi answered quickly, staring Usagi down hard. The blonde looked   
Chibi over for injury, and caught the glare from her. Chibi stood and began to back away   
from Usagi, all the way to the wall, "Just fine!"  
"Uh…what's wrong with you? You look like you seen a ghost." Usagi stretched   
her slender arms and placed her feet onto the floor. By now the sun had fully risen, and   
shone down into the room brilliantly. Chibi checked herself over, and then quickly placed   
her hand to her chest, looking for the locket. Nothing. Her sigh of relief cut short as she   
noticed Hotaru's bed was gone.  
"Where's Hotaru?!" Chibi immediately went to the call button and pressed it a   
several times before again having her hand removed once again by Usagi. She waited   
impatiently, moving to peek out the door, looking for a nurse. Just as her hand tightened   
around the handle with the intent to step outside, the door opened of its own accord,   
admitting a doctor… one whom Chibi recognized at a moment's glance to be different to   
the one from the previous night. He was dressed the same however, green S.C.R.U.B.s   
under a white coat, roughly 35 or so.  
"We have some news on your friend…" the man looked directly to Usagi, as   
she was older, before turning to Chibi. His eyes were a sea green; soft and delicate,   
paired with slightly graying brown hair, clean cut and well shaven. He paused for a   
moment glancing down at the chart with a sigh, "We've found an abnormality on the CT   
scan…"  
  
  
The sweet, rich whisper of a flute woke Hotaru from a deep slumber. Her eyes   
fluttered gently as she glanced slowly around another torch-lit room. She was on a soft   
mattress in a wall-less, ceiling-less black room very similar to the place she had   
previously been. Rising to a sitting position, she saw a figure sitting on a chair adjacent to   
the bed, the man who had wielded her glaive before.  
The music stopped.  
"So you're finally awake…" The man said, his voice as smooth as the flute was.  
His mask was still on, though his clothing was different from, black still, but it wasn't   
bloody. He was sitting close to the bed, his legs crossed, looking over her. He didn't   
speak after this, only watched her motions carefully, not cautiously, but he seemed   
curious about her.  
"Who are you…?" Her voice was weak, it shook gently with a combination of   
fear, uncertainty, and exhaustion, "...and where am I?" The youth looked thoughtful for a   
moment, rubbing his chin through the thin cloth mask that shrouded his identity. He   
looked a bit like Mamoru, now that Hotaru thought about it.  
"No…I'm not Mamoru." His voice sounded as soon as Hotaru had the thought   
manifested in her head, "My name is Seisen." He paused for a second regarding the latter   
question, thinking of how to answer her, while she sat dumbstruck at the way he detected   
her thoughts. "I suppose the best way to describe this place would be the astral plane."  
"Astral plane…? Isn't that the out-of-body thing?" her violet eyes looked him   
over, not really buying this astral plane business, but…where else could she be? This   
wasn't like anywhere she's ever been before.  
"Yes…something like that. However, there are some differences between the   
out-of-body and our existence here. You didn't come here from your own will, like I did,   
and you weren't brought here because you died in what you perceive as the 'real world.'   
You came here because something else brought you here. It wasn't me, I'm sure you'd   
thought that already," which, in actuality was the first thing that came to her mind as he   
suggest it. It was starting to frighten her that he could so easily read her mind. "That   
creature you witnessed earlier is what brought you here."  
"Why would it want to… do that?" her eyes glanced away, her tone   
melancholy, and frightened. "I'm just a girl…" She glanced away, careful not to think of   
herself being a senshi, but instead thought of a lamp she owned at home, not wanting to   
give herself away. "Why would it want me?" She recalled in detail the base of the lamp.  
"Very interesting lamp." The youth chuckled lightly, "You are very clever, but  
I already know who…or rather, what, you are; there is no use in trying to deceive me, but   
be certain I'm not here to harm you." Her mouth dropped open, and she sputtered a   
moment, trying to think of a way to explain that she wasn't something special. Her   
attempts at protest were cut short when he held up his hand. "Don't… you don't have to   
make excuses, or try to hide what you are."  
"How do I know you're not here to hurt me…?" she edged carefully away from   
him, but couldn't get too far on her weak hands. He shook his head, glancing to his side   
then back to her.  
"Here…" he reached down onto the floor and picked up something, then   
thought better of it as Hotaru tensed. "It's nothing to hurt you…trust me." She didn't ease   
any when he put his flute onto his lap and used both hands to lift the object. Her eyes   
narrowed onto the flash of silver from her glaive.  
"That's-- she started, but stopped when he nodded to her.  
"Your glaive…very nice, actually." His eyes wandered the weapon for a   
moment, before turning it in his hands, so the blade faced inwards toward himself   
"Here." His left hand extended the grip of the weapon to her, carefully aiming it away   
from her body due to the large spike at the end of it. "It's yours anyhow."  
"Yes…" she reached her hand tentatively out to the weapon and placed it   
around the grip before sliding it onto the bed next to her since she couldn't lift it with her   
fatigued muscles. "Why did you have it?"  
"A very good question," His eyes smiled, though his mouth couldn't be seen   
from behind the mask, "Well, when you don't have it with you, it does go somewhere   
you know. All the senshi's weapons reside here when not in use; this way no one can get   
their hands on them. The first breech happened today with that creature, but it will not be   
happening again. I have seen to that." His eyes wandered to a dark part of the room, then   
back to Hotaru.  
"Are you some kind of security guard or something? And why did that creature   
want my weapon…?" She too, let her eyes then move to the blackness that cause his own   
attention before tearing her eyes it, to focus back on his eyes.  
"Yes, and no. I am not required to guard the weapons, but I don't let anything   
near them. Not that it was a problem until today. "It wanted your weapon because that   
was the only certain way of calling you here; it was only a matter of time, having gotten   
its hands on the weapon, before you could be brought here…" His hands folded in his lap   
over his flute.  
"Why would it want me here…?" This was starting to make some sense, but   
still a bit hard to believe, it made her head spin. She left her hand on her glaive, its   
presence making her feel much better than had she been alone.  
"It wanted to kill you," Seisen told her dryly. "If it killed you here, it would   
have killed your spirit, thus preventing you from being reborn. When you are here, you   
are physical, tangible, much like you would be back home." His hand moved to his chest,   
patting it gently, "But I'm sure you saw that, anyhow."  
"Why did you stop it?" Her eyes moved to his chest, where he touched. He   
should have been dead; that wound wouldn't have simply closed on it's own.   
"And…your wound…  
"Would you rather I let it kill you?" he chuckled lightly, shaking his head.  
"And my wound is healed. You're not the only one with a healing power, Firefly."  
"You can heal too?" He had her attention now, and she sat up straighter against   
the mass of pillows on her bed; it made her think he had gone a bit too far to make sure   
she was comfortable.  
"Yes…you saw what other power I have. Does it look familiar to you? Only   
difference is that your power moves on the circle of life. Your revolution is meant to   
show that everything lives, and then it will die." He paused a moment, adjusting his   
sitting position by uncrossing his legs. "My power lies on a single side of that, either life,   
or death, never both.  
"Why do you have the powers I do?" Her eyes narrowed in confusion, and she   
fidgeted, wanting to work out the stiffness that deadened her limbs.. Seisen studied her a   
moment, his black eyes softening as he looked over her face. She was so weak, so frail,   
but so completely powerful…after all Hotaru was both sides of the coin, much like her   
power.  
"Well…" he paused a moment, reaching his hands behind his head to untie the   
mask's ribbon that held the dark mask to his face. He let the top of the mask fall to reveal   
his nose and mouth, running his hand through his dark black and purple hair.. His face   
was sharp, boasting well chiseled features, but still seemed very much innocent. "It's a   
long story, but it would be a bit odd that you have powers when your genetic copy   
doesn't."  
  
"What do you mean you found an abnormality?" Usagi eyed the doctor warily   
as she spoke. Chibi stood looking up between two, not exactly sure how she should react.  
"Well, it appears there some trauma as her head hit the ground, causing her   
brain to swell a bit. This could be completely harmless, or it could lead to possible brain   
damage. Amnesia, paralysis…death." He quickly looked away from them as he spoke the   
word "death", not wanting to watch their reaction. Usagi decided immediately that she   
didn't like this doctor.  
"How can something range from nothing to death? It doesn't make sense."   
Usagi cried, narrowing her eyes at the doctor. "Just do whatever you have to do to make   
sure she'll be fine" Usagi narrowed her eyes at the doctor, who shifted uneasily under her   
glare.  
The doctor shifted uneasily under her glare, shaking his head. "We can't…until   
the guardian decides what is best for the child, we simply cannot take any action,   
otherw—" Usagi's jaw dropped with disbelief that they would play God to simply await   
an order from the guardian. "If this was an emergency, or something of the sort, we   
could…" He began to stammer, sweat forming on his brow from the steadily-increasing   
heat of Usagi's glare.  
"What do you mean IF this was an emergency? She could DIE! What does she   
have to do for you to consider it an emergency!? I don't believe this!" Her hands curled   
into fists as she began to advance on the doctor, her mind simply refusing to take what   
the doctor claimed to be as the only solution. Chibi, now fully understanding the gravity   
of the situation began to move on the doctor as well, on her mother's left side to block the   
doorway.  
"Well….what I mean to say is that it-it has to be a trauma b-before we can do   
much…" the doctor's back hit the wall, and he swallowed hard as he was stared down by   
Usagi, and flanked by a pink haired child. The blonde girl's left eye twitched, and she   
stopped suddenly in her tracks, glancing away from the doctor to the ground, her mind   
giving her a possible solution.  
"Well then," Ceasing her forward motion, Usagi grew eerily calm as she smiled   
knowingly up at the doctor…" Chibi stopped and looked up at her; the cool, steely   
manner of her mother made her remember her dream and caused her to shudder, but she   
didn't speak. "I guess I'll just have to let you have your way…I'll just go make a phone   
call." Usagi said to the doctor, who was more than a bit surprised at her sudden change in   
demeanor.  
"If you're trying to call this Haruka person, the phone isn't being answered."  
The doctor stepped from the wall and straightened his coat nervously.  
"Oh no…I'm not going to call Haruka." She placed her hand on Chibi's   
shoulder, but was taken slightly aback as Chibi stepped away from her. Usagi let it pass  
for now, but continued, "I'm going to call a lawyer. Do the phrases 'Malpractice,' and   
'wrongful death' mean anything to you, doc?" She was now very glad Ami had a big   
mouth and insisted on babbling to Usagi and the others. The doctor's eyes went wide, and   
he opened his mouth to speak, only finding himself quickly silenced… "Should   
ANYTHING, God forbid, happen to Hotaru…you will be very, VERY sorry. And my   
first task as the owner of Hotaru Tomoe memorial hospital will be to fire you."  
"Well…" the nervous man began to shake visibly, and Usagi began to wonder   
exactly how long he had been a doctor, and if this was the first bad news he'd delivered.   
"I suppose this can be treated as a trauma…"  
"Yes…and if it isn't a trauma, it can become one…not hers, of course, but I   
think I can handle you." Usagi said with a smile and a tilt of her head, "Now run along   
and have the nurses get a real doctor in here, 'Kay?" Usagi surprised even herself,   
thinking that what she just did would be more suited for maybe Rei, or possibly Haruka,   
but never herself. It made her feel good. She brushed past the doctor on her way out, and   
Chibi looked up at the man a moment, before following her mother, leaving the   
dumbfounded man in the white coat glancing sheepishly at his feet.  
  
"M…my genetic copy? A clone? You're a man, though." Hotaru looked over   
the face of the man who sat before her, his black eyes closed. "I don't understand…"  
"I didn't expect you to…I'll explain in a moment. Would you like something to   
drink? I have some juice here if you'd like some." He said, and waited as Hotaru   
considered his offer. But as she shook her head in rejection, Seisen turned his head away   
from her, feeling a bit dejected. "Alright…well, I suppose I should start at the beginning,   
hmm?  
"When you died in the lab explosion…you were not supposed to recover. It was   
no accident that the place was blown up. However, your father sold his soul to have you   
reborn, and thus placed a great evil in you, and in him. Now here's where I come in…"   
Pausing a moment to gather his thoughts, he allowed his rich black eyes to slowly move   
over the weakened girl in front of him. "You've heard the theory 'for every action, there   
is an equal and opposite reaction', right? Well, that's me. I'm your reaction. You were   
reanimated as per the agreement your father made, but you became Mistress 9."  
"Yes…" Hotaru didn't like discussing the time period she was Mistress 9, it   
caused her to recall fuzzy memories that had no real place in her mind. It only tormented   
her and caused horrid nightmares.  
"Fearing you were too powerful to be stopped by the senshi, I was created by   
another force to counter balance your existence." A shadow crossed his dark features as   
he glanced away, looking towards the sword that leaned against the chair near him. "I   
was created to kill you."  
"To kill me?" Hotaru's fears returned as she increased the grip on her glaive,   
thinking she was a fool to have trusted him…to sit and talk. Seisen, upon sensing her   
discomfort and sudden mistrust, sighed deeply, shaking his head.  
"Yes… I was created using your base DNA, but XY rather than XX…to receive   
your power plus increased physical strength due to being a man. You were raised as  
Mistress 9, and I was told that you were my enemy, that you were the plague of   
mankind…harsh I know, but I bought into it. I was brought up in the way of the   
warrior…trained daily to strengthen mind, body, and spirit so that one day I would be   
able to kill you with little difficulty. However…I did all of this knowing that you were   
my 'sister'. Since we are of basically the same DNA, there isn't another way to phrase   
it." Hotaru let her eyes fall away; that would explain why he was defending her, and the   
mass of pillows that was bigger than she was, but it still didn't make enough sense. "The   
day Usagi and the others encountered 9; I was there to make sure they succeeded. If they   
failed I was to finish the job. When it comes down to power, you can beat me out any   
day, since I'm just a copy. But, since I wasn't biologically produced, I don't have some   
of your…" thinking of the best way of phrasing it, but only finding himself able to   
express himself clinically, "your physical weaknesses."   
Seisen looked her directly in the eye, his dark, but enchantingly innocent   
features growing even more distraught as she instantly turned away. "I'm not going to   
hurt you…" His voice was small, pained. His lack of tact and instant distress proved he   
wasn't used to dealing with people.  
"You just said you were supposed to kill me." Hotaru frowned as she turned to   
her glaive once more, her fingertips gently moving over the smooth metal of the blade.   
"Now you say you won't hurt me. I don't know what to believe."  
"I was created to kill Mistress 9. She doesn't exist anymore, so my existence is   
pretty much useless." Seisen shrugged and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes with   
his hands behind his head. Hotaru glanced from him to the glaive by her side; his   
vulnerable position might let her wound him and flee to find some way to get back home.  
"You can, if you like…you'd probably be doing me a favor," his eyes slowly   
opened to look at her, "I won't stop you if you try." With his hands still behind his head,   
he pulled the ribbon on the mask once more around his head and tied it into place, again   
concealing his features, his eyes again closed..  
"What do you want from me? I don't understand all of this… You don't let it   
kill me, but you were supposed to kill me…you go out of your way to make me feel   
comfortable." Hotaru let her eyes move from him to the darkness of the room, looking for   
any possible exit, or a portal of some kind. "I just want to go home."  
"Then I'll take you home, but leave your glaive here. You can't take it with   
you, but it will be safe." He stood up, flute in hand, and stretched his body. He was tall, at   
least as tall as Mamoru, and his build was above average, which did fit his story to   
Hotaru. Picking up his sword, he slung the sheath around his body and latched it into   
place, where it was in reach of his right hand over his shoulder. "Come on," he said,   
placing the flute in a slot on the sheath's strap, which crossed his chest from right to left.   
"They should be happy to see you…"  
Making their way along the darkness of the astral plane, Seisen guiding the way   
past the torches that lined each room, and crossed the paths of others like a roadway   
system. Hotaru was weak, and only shuffling along behind Seisen by will power. More   
than once collapsed under her own weight, only to be caught by a blinding motion of the   
ninja-dressed youth who offered he carry her, but she adamantly refused.   
"We're almost there," the black-eyed man looked up at a portal that swirled in   
the darkness, purple spinning in a clockwise fashion, drawing in the very light that   
surrounded them. Gusts of wind began to pull at the two as they neared the portal. The   
long ribbons of Seisen's mask began to flutter around his face, just as Hotaru's hair did   
the same, but her weakness caused her to drop to her knees. Seisen turned to regard her   
for a moment, and shadow crossed his face as he drew his sword and faced the girl fully.   
The black blade of the sword shimmered with a crackle of purple electricity as Seisen flat   
out charged Hotaru, enough power and speed to physically counter the portal's pull,   
making the air still for a fraction of a second before his powerful sword thrust came   
hailing down just above Hotaru's head.   
She had long enough to think, "I'm dead," before the blade met flesh.  
  
On the flight from Japan to the United States, Haruka and Michiru sat restlessly   
in the plane, hoping for the best, but fearing the worst. They had been in the air for what   
seemed like forever; the hospital had called them the night before and they had caught the   
first plane to anywhere in the US, which landed in New York in about 20 minutes.   
"Sir?" the flight attendant regarded Haruka, her bright green eyes and sugary-  
sweet smile shone down on the shorthaired woman. Haruka played it off, not bothering to   
explain she was a woman, nor caring at the moment. "Would you like something to   
drink? A soda? A glass of wine maybe?"  
"No, thank you. I'm alright." Haruka answered, and the woman, undaunted,   
inquired if Michi would like something. She likewise refused politely though she was   
being destroyed inside. She didn't want to have to do this again; she couldn't take things   
like this. Why Hotaru? kept going through her head.  
"We land in 20 minutes," Michi checked her watch, "We can catch another   
plane to Maine, or we can just get a bullet ca- a cab, rather."   
Haruka just closed her eyes and sighed, "We'll take a cab. We don't need to   
wait for another plane… I hope they can drive fast."  
  
Usagi now stood impatiently at the nurse's station, her tautly-crossed arms and   
dangerous expression warning everyone she was not to be toyed with at the current time.   
Taking a lesson from her daughter, she began the same full on assault on the bell Chibi   
did only a few hours beforehand. "Hello! I need a doctor! A REAL doctor who CARES!"   
She turned to glare at Hotaru's room in time to see the man slipping out of the room like   
a weasel, and scurry into a lounge to avoid a confrontation with Usagi.  
A nurse came to regard Usagi and looked to the pink haired girl. The whole   
floor knew what room they were from; it was not very often that you find a small midget   
girl with pink hair done in ondangos. "Yes? A doctor will be right with you, Doctor   
White just called and said he will no longer be on the trauma case, but to have someone   
look at her right away." Usagi nodded in triumph, feeling much better about herself, and   
the situation, though Chibi only regarded her with a wary glance, her dream still not   
shaken so easily.   
"Where's Hotaru?" Usa finally managed to ask the nurse, standing on her tip   
toes to see over the counter.And ensued a verbal exchange that must have broken the   
sound barrier at some point.  
"Radiology,"  
"What's she doing there?"  
"Getting another cat scan."  
"When will she be out,"  
"When it's done."  
"Don't you talk to her like that!"  
"I don't know when she'll be out!"  
"Then find out!"  
"I would ma'am, but I can't just call and ask them to hurry!"  
"No, but you can call and ask them how long it's going to take!"  
"I'm busy right now,"  
"Doing what? All I've seen you do is eat that nasty little salad."  
"Maybe you should get a salad, it might improve your temper."  
"Salads are not food! Vegetables are what food eat!"  
"I have to go now, I'll have someone in her room shortly,"  
"We'll be waiting."  
"Don't hold your breath," 


	4. Mysterious Ways

"She never really had a chance on that fateful moonlight night.  
Sacrificed without a fight, a victim of a circumstance.  
Now that I've become aware and I've exposed this tragedy,   
A sadness grows inside of me, it all seems so unfair,  
I'm learning all about my life by looking through her eyes.  
Just beyond the church yard gates, where the grass is overgrown,  
I saw the writing on her stone. I felt like I would suffocate.  
'In loving memory of our child, so innocent, eyes open wide.'  
I felt so empty as I cried, like part of me had died…"  
Dream Theater. "Through her eyes."  
  
"Ms. Tsukino?" A well-dressed, dark haired woman called as she entered the room   
where Usagi and Chibi Usa were awaiting Hotaru's return. "I'm Dr. Lisa Terrene, and I've just   
been assigned to Ms. Tomoe. She's on her way back from the CT scan now." The doctor looked   
Usagi directly in the eye; her own brown eyes were made larger from the small metal-framed   
glasses.   
"Yes? Is everything alright?" Usagi stood up as the woman entered, very much glad for   
her professionalism, and seeming concern with Hotaru. The blonde immediately noted she wasn't   
very much shorter than the doctor, and their build was almost the same, though Lisa was more   
full in the bust and hips. Dr. Terrene regarded Usagi's question a moment, before stepping beside   
her and opening the chart, showing her the films that were recently printed out.   
"See this black part here?" the doctor ran her finger along the slick surface, pointing at   
the area that was considerably darker than the rest of the normal brain tissue, "This is a normal   
result of acute head trauma. Though normally harmless, her previous medical conditions make   
her more predisposed toward injury." Usagi nodded slowly, feeling a bit numb right now, having   
looked at the CT pictures made it all the more real. Chibi pulled at Usagi's sleeve to try to see the   
images as well, but the older girl didn't respond to the touch.  
"What does this mean, doctor? What should we expect? The other doctor said that she   
could be well or die. That's too much of a range for me." Lisa closed the folder and crossed her   
arms around it, leaning her back against the wall and looking down at Usa who was on her way to   
the door to see if Hotaru was on her way back yet.   
"Well, the pressure in her head is stable right now, and we're going to keep her monitored   
24 hours a day until it drops, or we have to take further measures." The doctor waited for Usagi to   
nod before continuing. "Right now it'll be fine on it's own, but if she develops brain edema, it could   
be fatal. We have to prep her for surgery just in case, we hope there won't be any trouble, but if   
there is, we will have to physically release the pressure from her head, by opening the skull at key   
points and removing the excess fluid." She hesitated a moment, glancing to Chibi, then back to   
Usagi, "Since we don't know exactly where those points will be, I'm afraid we're going to have to   
shave her entire head."  
"Shave her head?" Chibi's soft red eyes looked at Lisa and began to water slightly. She   
couldn't imagine Hotaru without hair, but most definitely doesn't want her to die. "Why do you   
need to do that?"  
"Because we don't want hair to get into the incisions, the holes we might have to make,   
because hair isn't supposed to be there and could get her brain infected…" Dr. Terrene paused   
and glanced apologetically at both girls, " I'm very sorry, but this is the only way to provide the   
fastest possible treatment if something should go wrong, God forbid it." The doctor placed her   
hand on Chibi's shoulder, "I know she means a lot to both of you, and I'm praying that she'll be   
alright." Just as she finished her sentence, Hotaru was wheeled back into the room, still   
unconscious. Chibi ran to see her, placing her hand on Hotaru's even before the bed stopped   
moving. The tech looked at the girl, but didn't say anything as he locked the bed into place and   
headed out of the room, nodding to the women before he left.  
"Did you hear that Hotaru? They want to shave your head…I know you wouldn't want   
them to huh? But we'll get you some hats, and you can wear those." Chibi's eyes spilled tears,   
the drops ran down her face and splashed onto Hotaru's cheek. "You said before you wanted a   
hair cut like Haruka-papa, didn't you? Well, now you'll get to see what it looks like!" Chibi's hand   
reached to Hotaru's hair and running her fingers through it, now beginning to sob. The lack of   
sleep, and the horrid events of the last day had made her a nervous wreck. Usagi too felt like   
crying, Hotaru's hair was so beautiful, it was a shame to cut it all off, but whatever would save her   
life.  
"We'll need to shave her head now, hun…" Lisa said to Chibi, once more placing her   
practiced hand on the small child's shoulder. A female nurse came into the room with a bag, a   
pair of scissors and an electric razor. "I'm sorry…" Terrene said before stepping out of the room,   
not wanting to observe the process.   
"Can I see the scissors?" Chibi asked the woman who looked at her dumbly a moment   
before nodding and handing them, handle first, to the girl. "Thank you," she said politely and   
wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Reaching out, she grabbed a lock of Hotaru's hair and   
snipped it off, holding it tightly in her hand. The nurse, having gotten the idea handed Chibi a pair   
of rubber bands to bind the hair together, which she did with only slight difficulty. "There…now I'll   
always have a piece of you with me Hotaru!" Chibi said with her best brand of false cheer as she   
handed the scissors back to the nurse. "Can we go get something for lunch, please?" The pink   
haired child asked her mother, not wanting to stay either. She couldn't bear to watch it.   
"Sure, let's go get a donut or something sweet. I've been dying for something all   
morning." Which was a half-truth, sure she had been hungry. She was always hungry. But   
suddenly she didn't feel too much like eating. Placing her arm around Chibi, Usagi pulled her from   
the bed, directing her to the door; though she cast one last look over her shoulder to see the   
nurse began to cut the raven colored tresses from Hotaru's head…Usagi felt sick.  
  
Seisen's blade sunk deep into the skull, and a quick turn of his body sent brain matter   
flying, and blood running down Hotaru's clothes. The sound of the sword tearing free of the flesh   
was that of someone slicing a cantaloupe open with a dull knife. Hotaru felt her body hit the floor,   
and look up at the darkness and at the black dressed youth above her.   
"Next time, Firefly…duck?" Seisen returned his sword to its scabbard and wiped the   
blood from his hands onto his pants. He turned to view the portal again, leaving Hotaru on the   
floor, wondering what just happened. She wasn't dead? Her hands moved to her head and   
touched it gently, though it was slick with blood and fluid, it was intact. It wasn't her head that he   
cut…then whose was it? Hotaru turned behind her, finding a body lying within a foot of hers; what   
appeared to be a mix between a human and a jackal. It's head was that of the latter, it's large   
canines coated with it's own blood, as a large part of it's skull was torn clean off. The body was   
human, though covered in mangled, dirty fur.   
"I'm… alive?" Hotaru's hands moved along her body now, making sure she was still   
whole. "Thank you, Seisen…" she was polite about it, and placed her hands on the floor. She   
began to push herself up, but the blood was too thick and her grip quickly slid, sending her   
sprawling onto her chest. "ow…"   
"Need a hand?" The youth asked over his shoulder, before turning his head to gaze at   
the girl. Hotaru nodded, finally admitting defeat; Seisen was immediately by her side, a hand on   
her elbow, and another around her waist to lift her as if she weighed nothing at all. His hands did   
not release her body; "Come on…this is going to be quite a ride, hold on tight, or you might get   
lost…whatever you do, don't let go of me." He waited until Hotaru again signaled yes before   
stepping onto the platform before the portal and then added a quick, "Here we go…" before   
drawing his sword, a crackle of electricity surrounded them a moment, then sucked them into the   
depths.   
The hungry, swirling vortex pulled them in, the colors were blinding and dizzying in their   
intensity. Purple light flowed over them; tendrils of color began to tug at their bodies, pulling them   
from every which way, but the sword's electric-like properties of the blade shocked them away.   
Hotaru whimpered and pulled tighter onto Seisen, who wrapped both arms around her, as the   
blade guided their way through the vast stream of time and space.   
Something caught Hotaru's eye. She was facing Seisen's chest, with a good view over   
his shoulder, and glimpsed a black outline creeping slowly towards them. "Seisen…something is   
coming, I can't make it out but it's moving really fast." The youth turned his head to the right, to   
look over his shoulder and swore quickly at what he saw.   
Quickly approaching the pair, emerging from the darkness of the void was an   
indescribable creature. Decayed human bodies were stacked in a shapeless pile, with large, bony   
appendages that raked the air, flexing and extending as it neared the two. Soon, it's left tendril   
like arm craned back and shot for them quickly. "Brace yourself!" Seisen shouted.  
A rough force rammed the pair forward, as the creature struck them, sending both the   
youth and Hotaru spinning head over heels in the infinity. Seisen quickly flared his legs out, to   
counter the spin, though he was slightly nauseas, and keep them facing in the same direction.   
With a short grunt, he ignored the pain having no choice but to ride it out; he knew better than to   
turn around and face what was attacking them. It would leave Hotaru vulnerable. Another forceful   
slam collided with Seisen's back; this time a low snap was heard as one of the man's ribs was   
cracked clean in two.  
"Ugh…" Seisen gurgled; it was obvious his lung was punctured. "Dammit…almost there,"   
he whispered to Hotaru. "Turn your back to me…" he began to move his hands, grimacing in pain   
as turned Hotaru in the opposite direction. She did as she was told, and held onto him tightly.   
Once she was completely turned, he placed his around her shoulders, to give her more coverage,   
just as another blow landed Seisen's back. He grunted loudly, cursing a blue streak as he   
shuddered a moment, then went limp. His eyes closed.  
Hotaru glanced over her shoulder to see what was going on, only to be greeted with the   
sight of Seisen's blood stained face, rivulets of the crimson liquid were pulled from his body,   
twirling into ribbons as it spilled into the distance. Blood was pouring from his mouth; that much   
was evident even with his mask on. The creature had pierced his rib cage. "Seisen!" Hotaru   
yelled out, causing the man to open his dark, innocent eyes to regard Hotaru. He looked   
exhausted, and was coughing thickly.   
"Take the sword…" his hands moved to hers, placing the blade into her palm then closing   
her hand around it, the fierce wind still whipping around their bodies as the colors around them   
began to decrease. "It's…pushing through me…it's trying to get to you…" just as he said that, the   
tendril managed its way through Seisen's chest, spraying Hotaru's back with blood. Seisen's grip   
increased on Hotaru and he began to push her away, but a moment too late; the bony extension   
pierced her back, just at her heart. She screamed loudly, and Seisen's face contorted as he   
gathered the last of his strength, "Hold on…don't let go of the sword, it will guide you back…"   
Shoving Hotaru away, and off the tendril, Seisen wiggled quickly, causing the hole in his   
chest to enlarge, but it would decrease the dexterity of the tendril as he moved. "Brace   
yourself…" The man pulled his legs back and placed them just at Hotaru's back, and with a quick   
move and a loud yell, he shot both legs out, sending Hotaru flying down the portal at a dizzying   
speed. She managed to get one last look behind her, to see her blood spilling through the vortex,   
and Seisen floating limply through the air, before vanishing from sight. "Thank you…" she   
whispered to him as she neared the end of the portal, her body shaking lightly from both fright   
and blood loss.  
  
Chibi turned the soup in her small, Styrofoam tray over and over with her spoon. Her face   
was stained with tears, and she had no real appetite. She glanced over at Usagi, who sat staring   
at her donut, looking for some kind of answer in the chocolate surface. "Good soup?" the blonde   
girl asked without even looking up. Chibi only gave her a slight grunt, before putting the spoon   
down and glancing at the clock. It was now 3:00PM; they had been in the cafeteria for almost half   
an hour, neither of them having said a thing to the other until Usagi had broken the silence.   
"You think they're done yet…?" Chibi inquired, pushing the bowl away from her in   
disgust. "I want to see her again" Usagi shrugged and was about to say something, but the loud   
speaker sudden blared over their heads.  
"Code blue, room 415, code blue room 415!" Both girls immediately looked at each other,   
stood quickly enough to knock their chairs over, and darted towards the elevator.  
  
In the operating room, Hotaru's head was already opened up, and they were attempting   
to drain the fluid from her skull but to little avail. Her blood pressure was dangerously low, and her   
pulse was down to almost an almost unreadable level. She was hooked to a bypass machine at   
this point, both blood and IV drips were in place, as the doctors tried desperately to save her   
young life. Hotaru's spirit however, was quickly streaking back into reality, thanks to Seisen's   
shove. The sword that was wrapped so tightly in her hand suddenly faded from existence as she   
was rocked violently into a stop, just above her real self, though her vision was horribly blurred.   
Her spiritual body bled, and her life was fading quickly, both in the real world, and in the astral.   
Soon, as her vision began to focus, Hotaru saw her own body; hooked to tubes, blood pouring out   
of her head while the medical team worked as quickly as possible to try to keep her alive. Her   
spirit's eyes began to shut, both her bodies were shutting down.  
"What happened to me…?" Hotaru thought as an invisible force began to pull back into   
her body. "The last thing I remember about being here is the snow, and the sky…" Soon, she was   
being bound back into herself, and as she returned to her physical form, she was immediately   
overwhelmed by pain.  
She regained consciousness on the table, a bolt of pain caused her to sit up quickly,   
pulling both the IV drips from her arm in the violent motion. "Chibi…" Hotaru mumbled lightly,   
glancing to one of the nurses, her violet eyes locking onto her for a moment before they rolled   
back into her head and she fell back onto the table limply, causing a few instruments to go flying   
off their trays, and a nurse to scream loudly.   
"Get her stabilized," the head surgeon directed the staff, "we need more anesthesia,   
more blood, 0, get as much of it as you can carry! Move it!" the team began to scramble, a couple   
slipping on the blood that coated the floor, dripping from the IV tubes. Before they could even   
reach the door to head to the blood bank, the heart monitor let out a steady beep, signaling a loss   
of the pulse. Hotaru Tomoe was dead.  
  
"'Ruka…" Michi placed her left hand on her head, while her right quickly grabbed   
Haruka's knee, squeezing it tightly in the cab that was racing to their destination. "I…I don't feel   
good." She held her chest and clenched her eyes tightly shut, "God…it feels like my heart is   
crumbling in my chest..." Haruka placed her hand on Michi's, not exactly sure how to comfort her,   
but she didn't have a chance to even open her mouth before Michi began to sob. Haruka knew.  
  
As Usagi and her daughter reached Hotaru's room, she was already gone and in surgery,   
though there was a nurse in the room. Chibi went immediately to her and began pumping her for   
information. "Where's Hotaru!?" she demanded, looking up at the woman who simply glanced   
away, not allowing the young child to acquire eye contact.   
"The doctor will be in shortly to talk to you," she answered evasively and began to walk   
out of the room but was blocked by Usagi who stood in front of the door, her hands on her hips   
and a dangerous glare returning to her eyes.   
"Where. Is. She!?" Usagi demanded, her eyes starting to narrow as the nurse looked   
away from her as well.  
"She's in the O.R." That was technically not a lie, since she was still physically in the   
operating room, "the doctor will be in shortly to speak to you." The nurse then sidestepped Usagi   
and left the room closing the door behind her.  
"I don't like this feeling," Chibi said to Usagi, looking at her fearfully, "I…I don't feel good, I   
feel sick, and empty… Why do I feel like this? It's not right." Usagi was about to try to reassure   
her, but the doctor entered the room with a solemn look on her face, Usagi felt her heart begin to   
pound.  
"Ms. Tsukino… please sit down, you too as well, child." Usagi slid into the chair numbly,   
and Chibi sat quickly into her lap, both their eyes glued to the doctor, "There is no easy way to   
say this…Ms. Tomoe regained consciousness in surgery." She paused a moment, Chibi's eyes lit   
up and a broad smile formed on her face, she began to dismiss her ache. "She whispered the   
word 'Chibi'," Lisa spoke quietly, "Then she went into cardiac arrest…"   
The doctor sat on the bed, placing a hand on either side of her head, "I'm sorry, both of   
you, but your friend passed away…" Chibi's grin stayed on her face a moment, it felt stiff, unreal,   
it slowly began to fade. Suddenly it felt very cold, and Chibi began to struggle for breath, tears   
began to stream down both of the girl's faces, and Usagi placed her hand on her daughters back   
to try to comfort her.  
The silence of the room was suddenly shattered by Chibi's soul shredding scream. 


	5. At a loss

WARNING: Yes, a fic with a warning. This isn't your run of the mill episode here. This   
one will be slightly, if not very depressing. The email address is the same,   
Saturn_Knight@hotmail.com for those of you who wish to email me, but don't send me   
hate mail, because it'll be deleted.   
***************  
  
"Where did we come from? Why are we here?  
Where do we go when we die?  
What lies beyond? And what laid before?  
Is anything certain in life?  
They say 'life is too short,' 'the here and the now,'   
And 'you're only given one shot.'  
But could there be more? Have I lived before?  
Or could this be all that we've got?  
'…Move on be brave! Don't weep at my grave!  
Because I am no longer here.  
But please never let your memory of me   
Disappear…'"  
Dream Theater: "The Spirit Carries On."  
  
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the passing of one of   
God's children." The day was overcast, gray and simply miserable. The angry sky   
rumbled with fury as the small group crowded around an open grave, in direct defiance of   
the chill. The figures, huddled around site, stood in somber, detached silence as the priest   
continued to speak. " 'The lord is my shepherd; I shall not want…' We commit thee,   
Hotaru Tomoe back to God's earth, though the body is only a vessel, and you, such a   
lovely child, are in the hands of God once more. 'Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,' so it has   
always been and it always will be" He stepped forward, dropping a single rose on the lid   
of the coffin, and motioned for the others to do so as well. The senshi approached one by   
one, standing before the simple stone that marked her final resting place; an angel with its   
wings wrapped around a small child, and murmured their final goodbyes to the lacquered   
coffin lid.   
"We'll miss you, Hotaru…" Ami said as she crouched down and released the   
rose, allowing it to fall above the priest's.  
"I'm sorry I never got to know you better," Minako sighed, she too allowing the   
brilliant red rose to drop into the grave.  
"It won't be the same without you, Hotaru…" Usagi stood by the edge of the six-  
foot deep, rectangular hole; Chibi was by her side. Both of them relinquished their roses   
at the same time, Usagi turned to let Chibi stand a moment longer.  
"I'll miss you, Hotaru…you were my best friend. I never met anyone like you,   
and I know I never will. You…" she paused, shaking her head and trying to swallow the   
lump that creeped into her throat. "You can never be replaced…" Her eyes closed, tears   
finding the way down her cheeks, only to fall, unheeded, onto the lid of the coffin.   
'Why?' Chibi thought to herself. 'WHY!? It's not fair! She didn't do anything!   
She wasn't a bad person anymore! It wasn't her fault before! SHE CHANGED!! DO   
YOU HEAR ME?! SHE CHANGED!!!' She began to shake with anger, her small hands   
curling into fists as she glared at the carving of an angel that watched over a nearby   
grave. 'Why did you take her?! WHY!? All her power- all our power and we couldn't do   
anything to help her! What good are we if we can't even protect each other!? How are we   
supposed to protect the world? This is ridiculous…' Chibi was beginning falter, shaking   
hard enough now that the other Senshi noticed, and Usagi slowly approached her.  
"Come on…the other's need to say goodbye to her too. We all miss her," Usagi   
too was crying, though not as uncontrollably as Chibi. The child didn't move, as much a   
statue as the stone monuments that stood silent vigil over the dead. Slowly, red, swollen   
eyes met Usagi's and Chibi opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't for a moment.   
"Shh…" Usagi's finger moved over her daughter's lips, signaling her not to talk. She had   
never seen her like this before, so angry, so…frightening.   
"WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYY!!!!???" her piercing wail   
echoed, rebounding off the tombstones, making the sound redirect to the people who   
stood between them. Soon it sounded like the angels themselves were screaming in   
agony.  
  
The ride back to home was quiet, uneventful. 'I'm glad she's at least quiet now,'   
Usagi thought to herself, looking over at the sleeping child that rested in her lap. 'I   
thought we were going to be kicked off the plane on the way back here. She was glad the   
people were sympathetic, even if annoyed and distressed at the hysterically crying child   
who only ceased her sobbing after she fell asleep.  
"I didn't know she'd take it this hard." Ami whispered to Usagi who only sighed   
and nodded, though both of the older senshi's eyes were puffy from tears, they had   
nothing on the pink haired girl. "It's so sad…I never knew she cared about Hotaru this   
much… they were very good friends, now that I do think about it." Usagi nodded to Ami   
for a fraction of a second before her eyes went wide.   
Hearing Ami talk about Hotaru in the past tense finalized it as her being gone.   
Usagi winced visibly and pulled her daughter tighter into her body, suddenly wanting to   
be comforted, though Chibi didn't awaken. "Ami…god, why did you say that?" Usagi   
narrowed her eyes at Ami even though she knew that she wasn't angry at her, hissing   
through her clenched teeth, "Why?"  
"I…I'm sorry Usagi, but all I said was that Hotaru and Chibi were-" she cut off,   
suddenly realizing just what she had said and her hand covered her mouth. She didn't   
need to say anymore. She didn't have to.  
They spent the rest of the long ride from the cemetery listening only to the rain   
patter down, and Chibi's steady breathing as she slept. 'You must be exhausted,' Usagi   
thought as she brushed aside some of the girl's hair. 'I've never seen you cry like that,   
and this much before…let alone scream that loudly. You must really care about her,   
huh?' She refused to talk about Hotaru in the past tense, it tore her too much to even   
begin to. 'She's lucky to have a friend like you…'   
"Usagi….Usagi? We're home now," Usagi looked up quickly, realizing they were   
now at Makoto's house, where they would be staying to keep each other company. "Do   
you need a hand with her?" Ami gestured to Chibi, she was the only one who didn't head   
quickly inside, not because of the angel's tears that streamed from the heavens, soaking   
the world beneath, but because they were too numb to know any better. Only Ami's hard   
wired sense of responsibility and courtesy remained.   
"Huh? Oh, no, I've got her…" Usagi placed both legs out onto the ground, before   
standing; the cold, but comforting rain began to trace over her face. "Let's get inside."   
The door to the car was closed by Ami, as Usagi needed both hands to carry her daughter,   
who was too out of it to even place her arms around her mother's neck. 'God, she's such   
a dead weight…'   
A stabbing pain in Usagi's head brought to her a sudden halt. She leaned her back   
against a soaked pillar, to keep herself upright. Her mind forced the replay of the scene at   
the funeral, where they stood gathered around Hotaru's grave. Only this time, she was   
watching herself, and the others, in third person. Watching herself stand crying, Usagi   
felt a direct chill, slithering down her spine before turning to the stone on the ground. It   
was blank. The angel carved onto the gray stone suddenly turned its eyes and head to face   
Usagi who gasped in fright. It began to mouth silent words to her, though she couldn't   
make them out. 'I…I don't understand!' She thought trying harder to read the lips of the   
angel.  
"Love is stronger than death… Love is stronger than life… Don't let her grief   
over come her… Love her…" Hotaru's hushed voice clearly sounded, whispering though   
Usagi's ear, causing her to jump, and look around frantically, but the only thing she saw   
now was Ami, who had her hand on Usagi's shoulder.   
"Usagi! Are you ok? Get inside before your d-- catch a cold." She began to lead   
her inside, oblivious to Hotaru's warning that carried itself on the fridged air.  
  
Seisen floated through the swirling darkness, unaware of the creature that was   
stalking him through the endless depths of the portal.. Unbeknownst to him, he was   
floating back to the astral plane, by nothing more than dumb luck, but the monster   
trailing him intended to stop this. It's tendril flared quickly at the youth, intending to   
entangle him and draw him closer to itself to pull him from the sanctuary of the darkness.   
However, at that moment, Seisen's eyes opened to see the imminent collision, but   
managed to turn his body vertically so the tendril would only slam into his chest, not grip   
him like the creature wanted. The impact of the blow sent the youth spinning head over   
heels out of the portal and onto the ground of the astral realm, leaving the furious cry of   
the creature to echo in his ears, just as his hand closed around the Silence Glaive. It began   
to shimmer in response to his touch, but soon darkness was all he saw.  
Waking in the still, flame lit darkness, Seisen sat up. His body was healed, he was   
whole again…he glanced to the glaive by his side, which just shined knowingly. "Thank   
you, Hotaru…" he mumbled under his breath before a single tear streamed down his face,   
he could feel in his heart that the girl was dead, which meant he had very little time. He   
stood up, grabbing the glaive in his hands, and began to run quickly down the path to the   
afterlife.   
  
Makoto's house was deathly silent, the senshi sitting around the living room   
staring at the rug in the middle of the floor. Nothing stirred the quiet, besides the sound of   
the girls' breathing. A breeze floated on the thick air, chilling Usagi down to her bones,   
though none of the senshi seemed to notice the sudden icy whisper that ran it's fingers   
through Usagi's hair. "Remember…" Hotaru's hushed voice murmured to the girl,   
"Remember…."  
"Remember what?" she said aloud, causing the rest of the inners to look at her, as   
the others chose to heal in their own way. Four sets of red eyes looked to Usagi, though   
no one spoke to her.   
Assuming she was just thinking aloud they dismissed it and went back to looking   
at their own feet. Chibi stirred in Usagi's lap, sitting up and glancing to her mother, "Did   
you hear her too?"  
Seisen stood at the foot of the bed, having successfully managed to prevent   
Hotaru's passage into the afterlife by mere moments. He sighed, sitting down on the   
chair, exhausted. "If I had been a second later, you would have gone…I'm glad I know   
my way around the plane," he spoke to her, though she was asleep, just to break the   
uneasy silence.   
"You see, when you die your spirit returns here, to the astral plane. You are here   
physically, like I told you before, since your spirit makes you whole here." Seisen knew   
he was only talking to himself, but it was that or listen to the burning of the torches. "I   
found you before you wandered your way into the afterlife…some people find their way   
back to the realm of the living, which is why they are ghosts because they have no body   
and don't want to be completely dead. So, I stopped your spirit from entering and losing   
you forever…now all we have to do is find a new body for you, or have you reborn…   
that's going to be hell, let me tell you…we'll worry about that later, just relax…"  
  
Chibi sat in the tub of Makoto's bathroom in the now cooling water. She had been   
in there for almost two hours, though she hardly noticed the time. Her skin was   
wrinkling, her mind was wandering and her heart was aching. She didn't want to move,   
she didn't want to think, she just wanted to be with Hotaru again.   
"Chibi…? Are you OK in there?" Usagi asked as she gently knocked on the door.   
The blonde was more worried about her daughter than she let on, Hotaru's words echoed   
still in her ears, but she didn't understand what they were meaning to tell her.   
"Yeah….I'm ok, I think I want to get out now." Chibi said, standing up and   
letting the water drip from her body as she pulled the drain plug from the bath. She   
watched the water swirling down the drain, but somehow in her mind she pictured   
crimson swirls of blood draining down the hole. Her blood. She glanced away quickly.  
"Ok…you have your pajamas and everything? We're going to sleep in the living   
room, on the sofa…Minako, and Rei will be sleeping in Makoto's room, so we're sharing   
with Ami." Usagi leaned her body against the door, her fingertips tracing the pattern of   
the wood grain as she waited for Chibi to answer her.  
"Yes…" was the only response Chibi gave as she began to towel off, though the   
edge of the fabric was caught in the drawer. She sighed as she pulled it open and removed   
the towel piece, and just as she was about to close the drawer, a small black object caught   
her eye. Reaching in, she removed the black cylinder, which upon further inspection   
revealed itself to be a box cutter; the razor still protruding from the top.   
Chibi's mind flashed once more to the vision of her blood flowing down the   
bathtub drain as she looked over the glint of the steel's edge. "Hotaru…" she said softly,   
numbly running her finger over the blade, not so much as wincing as it tore easily   
through her skin. "I'll see you soon…" she shoved the blade into the pocket of her   
pajama pants and continued to dry herself off.  
  
It was almost 1:00 AM before Usagi finally fell asleep. Ami had been resting for   
almost an hour before hand, though Chibi was still awake listening to the thunder rolling   
in the distance. The child had been sitting in silence the entire night, weighing the pros   
and the cons of the razor in her hand, and though terribly frightened she had chosen to   
indeed go through with it.   
The chill in the air was undeniable as the child walked her final, self imposed mile   
down the dark, lonely hall towards the bathroom; she wanted to do it in the bathtub,   
where she wouldn't make a mess for Makoto. Flipping on the light switch, Chibi was   
instantly blinded by the fluorescent daggers that sought out her dilated pupils and paused   
a moment to let her eyes adjust to the brightness.   
"I'll be with you soon, Hotaru…" she whispered to herself as she closed the door   
behind her and made very sure it was locked before she took a look at herself in the   
mirror. Red, tired eyes stared back at her, alabaster skin stained with the tears that have   
since run dry. The child sniffled, wiping her nose with the back of her hand and stepping   
over to the tub and sitting herself in it. It was cold. She shivered lightly in the tub, though   
she chilled even more when she rolled up her left sleeve, since it was closer to the heart   
she figured that it would bleed faster. "I'm sorry mom…everyone," she whispered to   
herself as she extended the end of the blade to full length.  
As she placed the razor's edge to her skin, she hesitated a moment. It would hurt,   
she knew very well, but it was better a moment of physical pain than a lifetime of agony.   
"I'm sorry…" the girl whispered again before pressing down on the handle of the box   
cutter and driving it as deep as it will go into her soft skin.   
White hot pain seared her body as the deep, crimson liquid began to pour from the   
small wound on her wrist…it would take too long. Gathering her courage, she roughly   
pulled the blade up her arm, moving toward her elbow rather than horizontally across her   
wrist, as it would slice the entire vein rather than just a portion of it. With every   
centimeter of her skin that tore, it allowed more blood to freely drop into the tub, the tiny   
globules soon becoming thick, morbid river that washed her life down the drain.  
Unable to take any more pain, Chibi dropped the box cutter with a loud clatter   
against the tile floor, sending a few droplets spraying across the white tile.   
The sound transmitted easily through the thin walls of Makoto's house, causing a   
few of the senshi to awaken. Sitting up in the darkness, Ami rubbed her eyes and   
stretched; the clock read almost 1:15 in the morning. "Who is up at such an hour?" she   
whispered to herself, though as she stood she realized that Chibi Usa was missing.   
"Leave it to her to wake the house…just like her mother." Ami said aloud, pausing to   
look over the sleeping Usagi, "That isn't necessarily a bad thing though…" Shaking   
herself free from the stare she had placed on the senshi of the moon, Ami began to head   
in the direction of the noise.   
Ami stepped quietly through the house, and when she reached the bathroom door,   
she knocked softly on it, "Is everything ok? I heard a loud noise…" This startled Chibi,   
who turned to look at the door a moment, but the room began to spin.  
She didn't care anymore, she could hardly focus on anything; not what she was   
leaving behind, only what she was going to. Her vision continuing to blur, the child   
forced her eyes open a last time, and in her disorientation saw her best friend leaning over   
her.   
Hotaru's violet eyes were of great comfort to the dying girl, and as she felt a hand   
running through her hair, she knew everything was going to be over soon, and she   
wouldn't have to feel anything else. "Shh….Chibi," the soldier of Saturn whispered to   
her, caressing her face with her pale hand, "Just a moment or two longer."   
Hotaru felt selfish…she felt ashamed, and dishonorable for doing this. She knew   
she should have stopped her friend from killing herself, but she couldn't. Hotaru wanted   
Chibi to be with her. She wanted to see her again, to feel her touch, to know that she   
wasn't alone in the darkness. Seisen was someone to talk to, yes, but it wasn't the same.   
Nor had the man stopped her from coming back to see Chibi, which led Hotaru to believe   
that this was OK with him as well.   
"What will happen…?" Chibi mumbled the girl who still stood over her, finding it   
very difficult to talk. Her body ached all over as the muscles began to seize, leaving her   
to sit stiffly with her friend. Hotaru didn't say anything to her, simply shook her head and   
leaned down, nuzzling the smaller girl's face with her own. Chibi shakily raised her   
bleeding hand and touched Hotaru's lips with her fingers, causing a smear of blood to run   
across them. "Please…" Chibi said, touching her lips again.  
The raven haired child nodded to her friend and tilted her face to the side. Just as   
her lips met Chibi's, the door unlocked seemingly of it's own will. "Chibi?" Ami called,   
though she wasn't heard by either of the two in the room. Hotaru wrapped her arms   
around her friend's body and hugged her tightly.   
Chibi shuddered a moment, taking a final deep breath before growing still; dying   
wrapped in Hotaru's arms never breaking their kiss. "Chibi, I'm coming in." Ami said   
again, and the door slowly opened.   
The sight that Ami witnessed that day would never be forgotten. Hotaru,   
completely restored in her beauty sitting on the ledge of the bathtub holding a bloody   
child in her arms. The raven haired ghost turned to look at Ami slowly, her lips smeared   
with blood, giving her an even more macabre appearance. "Goodbye Ami…tell my   
parents I say the same. I'm sorry I'm so selfish…" and with that, she faded from sight as   
Ami began to scream as loud as she could.   
  
"So how does it feel, little one?"  
"H-…how does what feel? Where am I?"  
"How does it feel to be dead?"  
"I'm….dead?"  
"Yes…you and Firefly…only there's a problem…"  
"Problem….? I don't understand."  
"……thou shalt not kill." 


	6. Blessed be

"….and that's brings us to now." Seisen said, looking over his creator with a   
shrug of his shoulders, "She saved my life…and I want to help make things right with her   
and her…friend." The black irises of the youth looked to his maker with a knowing   
glance. He didn't need to speak the words. They were already known.  
"And what would you have me do, Seisen?" the booming voice asked the   
kneeling man, who had removed his mask out of respect. "I would like to help you, but   
my power is limited when I deal with mortals…I understand this girl has saved you, her   
power is astounding…dangerous, yes, but impressive none the less."  
"I was created to destroy her…you made me to be able to strike that child down   
without a second thought. I was trained to be the angel of death, created out of nothing to   
be her demise….stripped of a childhood, stripped of a life, only to take hers. A job that,   
thankfully, didn't need to be done. Now my intended victim saved my life, her glaive   
gave me the power to heal myself when I would be dead." Seisen's speech was answered   
with silence, allowing his powerful words to continue, "I am here asking for a way to   
return the favor; I understand that you cannot simply grant the wish with a motion of your   
hand, but I think I have a way to make things right. If you'll allow me to do   
this….father."  
" 'Father…' so long since you've called me that. You hated me, when you   
realized that your life wasn't meant to be normal…" the pain and regret in the voice was   
evident, though it was masked by a cracking shield, "Very well, tell me your plan my   
son…"  
"Thank you father…I need to speak to your daughter…. Her, and your other   
son… I know they do not know who I am, you have hidden me well, but the time has   
come now that I have to reveal myself, risking my own existence…please." Seisen's eyes   
looked to the floor a moment, then back up to his maker.  
"….." a sigh was heard, the troubled soul of one who has seen one too many   
tragedies. "As you wish, my son…I only hope Juno would listen to you. She hasn't the   
mind to respect mortals, she does tend to like violence and mayhem… Jupiter may be   
more understanding. I'll take you to them now, close your eyes my son.." and as Saturn   
laid his hands on Seisen's head, the two of them vanished in a flash of purple colored   
light, heading to the temple at Capitol.   
  
"And you expect me to do something about that, mortal?" Juno wasn't all too   
keen on the idea of wanting to help mortals, especially after Seisen was hidden from them   
all these years. The queen of the gods sat on her throne next to her husband Jupiter who   
was a little more interested in the goings on than the woman. "What does the happiness   
of mortals have to do with me?"  
"I expect nothing…but I do request your, and your husband's, assistance in   
making things…" Seisen paused, looking for the right word, both his eyes turned to the   
floor in consideration before moving back to Juno's. "Better for both of them. I wouldn't   
come to you, unless I knew that you could do something. After all, lady queen, you are   
the goddess of women and marriage…who better than to help two women, than the   
patron of them?" Juno fell silent, glancing away. "The king, and the queen of the gods   
certainly have some type of power that could be of help."   
"What will you do for us in return, Seisen?" Jupiter began, looking the youth over   
as he stroked his beard. He was greatly pleased that the man wasn't begging, or   
demanding that they give their power to help his cause, "You know that we cannot bring   
the dead to life again, even if you do have their spirits, their bodies are completely ruined.   
New bodies might be possible, but they wouldn't remember each other and that seems to   
be half the point, if I'm correct."   
"That is more or less the idea…reanimation isn't a necessity. Death is eternal. I   
don't think either of them would have a problem with staying the way they are, so long as   
they could be together. Mortals fear death because they are afraid of what comes   
after…they both now know. The mystery is gone, so the will to live should be as well...   
though I'm sure they will be missed, they will miss their friends." The youth's eyes   
turned to the king, though he has yet to get up from his kneel on the marble floor before   
the royalty of the gods.   
"What about you, are you afraid of death?" Juno asked him, her brow raising as   
she gave him a smile that struck Seisen as slightly too smug, "You are mortal after all."  
"Yes, of course." Seisen said without a moments hesitation, "I do know what   
comes after it…for other mortals, but I was not born in the way of man, and I don't know   
if I even have a soul to offer after my body loses it's will." That left Juno, who had been   
expecting him to say he was fearless quiet. Jupiter was greatly impressed with the man's   
honesty, his integrity, and his genuine caring for someone he had only recently met. "And   
I do not have much to offer in way of repayment, or gifts, but anything I have, or   
anything I can do I will." The truth in the youth's words killed whatever doubt the king of   
the gods had in his mind.  
"Very well, Seisen…I will grant your plea, and the soul of the girl who was   
destined for Hades will now be sent to the Elysian Fields... Though, I do have something   
I need to ask of you." The king smiled broadly, before giving a noticeably nervous   
chuckle, "You are strong in both the body, the mind, and the spirit…are you any good   
with children?"  
"I'm sure I can be, if given enough time…" Seisen's reply came, looking to Juno   
who began to seethe with fury, glaring at both men before storming out of the throne   
room.  
"Good…" Jupiter seemed concerned very little with his wife's outburst, "I have a   
child, from a woman named Leto…her name is Diana, and she needs someone to watch   
her, teach her how to do things…can you look after her for a while?"  
  
Standing in the tower of the castle in the city of Capitol, Seisen stared at the stars   
in the sky, his mask hiding his face in the darkness. The bright, full moon shone down   
over the forest, and the lake surrounding the castle, it's pale, but somehow comforting,   
light cast over the landscape.   
"Mission accomplished…" Seisen said to himself, his voice sounded hollow as it   
echoed off the stone walls of Jupiter's home. "I know you're there father…" the youth   
called over his shoulder, though no one was in the room, "And I know you can hear   
me…you created me to ensure that the spirit of Hotaru Tomoe was ushered into the after   
life. She will be there very shortly, both her and her friend." Stillness only answered   
Seisen, though the youth smirked, "I'm not angry…I'm sad, that she had to die so young,   
but at least they'll be young, and beautiful forever, right?" Again, silence was the   
response. "Yeah…that's what I thought." A soft rapping at the door brought Seisen back   
to reality, he knew who it was already.  
Both of the girl's spirits had been brought here, and they would all meet a final   
time before they were sent to the afterlife, to eternity. It was time to say goodbye to them;   
the girl he had met only days before, the child he was created to kill, and her friend.   
"Come in." The youth turned his back to the doorway again, once more peering out over   
the moonlit darkness.   
"Seisen…" Hotaru said aloud as she opened the door and stepped inside. Her   
voice no longer thick, and pained, but soft and gentle as he knew it should be.   
"We…we're leaving now. I…we, wanted to come to thank you for everything you did to   
help us. I know that you must have risked a lot to do this for us, and you don't know how   
grateful we are." He didn't say anything, though he knew he should. The words wouldn't   
find their way from his lips; his mind going blank when he should have been telling her   
goodbye. Hotaru stepped forward, leaving the silent Chibi by the door, and placing her   
hand on his shoulder, "Please look at me, Seisen…"   
Seisen sighed and turned to face them. Each of the girls was dressed well; pure,   
white gowns that looked befitting for queens, or princesses in this case, the long, lace   
sleeves fit over their slender arms, leading down over the back of their hand and hooking   
onto their middle finger. "You both look beautiful.." he said to Hotaru, before glancing to   
Chibi who quickly averted her eyes; she felt guilty for being here, for making Seisen have   
to strike a deal with the gods. "And you…" he began, regarding the pink haired girl,   
"Smile. You're going to spend forever with your frie-" the youth paused, deciding to stop   
using that word, and replacing it with the truth, "Your girlfriend." He finished, getting a   
furious blush out of both of the girls, but not a word of protest.  
"Thank you…" Chibi said, approaching him and giving him a quick hug before   
Seisen knew what was coming. As her arms wrapped him, he stood in stunned silence for   
a moment, before returning the embrace, then letting her slip away from him and back to   
the doorway, "I'll be outside, 'Taru…" The girl thought it would be better to let them say   
goodbye in private.  
"You know you'll have to go soon," Seisen stated first, crossing his arms over his   
chest, and arching a brow at her. "I don't want you to miss your appointment with   
forever." He forced a smile, though it was hidden behind his cloth mask.  
"Seisen…please." Hotaru sighed, reaching her hand out to pull the mask from   
covering him, "Don't hide yourself from me…we both owe you a lot, and we can never   
repay you for what you've done for us…if there's anyth-" she was cut off as Seisen put   
his finger over her lips, shaking his head.  
"You are my sister…your blood courses through my veins, just as mine in yours. I   
only did what anyone else would do for their blood." He smiled again, reaching his hand   
out to brush a few raven strands from her face, "You are welcome." Hotaru stepped to   
him and let her arms encircle him, resting her head on his chest. The youth smiled, his   
arms then finding their way around her, pulling her close for a moment, but a knock at   
the door soon drew their attention.   
"Hotaru…it's time to go, Dis says we have to leave really soon." Chibi's voice   
was heard, though the door wasn't opened.  
"Thank you, Seisen…I won't forget you, and what you've done." Hotaru said as   
she stepped back from him and smoothed her dress, looking over her shoulder to the   
door, "Just a second…"  
"Go on," the man smiled, cocking his head in the direction of the door, "Don't   
want her to leave without you." Seisen stepped away from her. Somehow, increasing the   
distance made it seem like it would be easier to part. Hotaru sighed, looking back to the   
youth before turning and stepping to the door. She was about to say something, but was   
again silenced as Seisen held up his hand, "I'll see you again sometime…"   
"Yes….until then, brother." Hotaru smiled, a tear streaking down her face as she   
opened the door and stepped out.  
"Until then, sister…" the youth whispered back as the door closed, then turned his   
attention back to the sky. Reaching into the strap that crossed his chest, Seisen pulled his   
flute from the padded compartment and brought it to his lips. A deep sigh was heard   
before he began to play; the soft, whisper of a melody floated down into the valley below   
as a tear fell from his eye to follow the music.   
  
"Seisen…?" a child's voice sounded in the darkness, causing the still conscious   
man to turn his gaze to the sound of the voice. Diana…   
"Yes?" he answered her, it was late…the girl should have been sound asleep by   
now. The youth didn't move, only let his eyes remain on her, as he could see the faint   
silhouette of her body against the backdrop of the moonlight.   
"I can't sleep…" Diana whispered to him, crawling up onto his bed and sitting on   
her ankles. "Tell me a story?"   
"A story…" Seisen repeated, "Ok…" he waited for the child to lie down and get   
settled in.   
  
"I have a story….a love story. It all starts in the dark of night…with a young girl   
lost outside in the snow…" 


End file.
